10. Read books by those who have cultivated wisdom and who can help you do the same (trusted sages or counselors, i.e. When you respect yourself, others will respect you. In the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he explains the different ways people give and receive love: (1) Words (2) Acts of Service, (3) Giving Gifts, (4) Spending Time Together and (5) Touch. Love is not needing, but wanting. You may love someone very much, but you may not be compatible with them. It should be, but so many people confuse love with things like jealousy or possessiveness. Love. 7. It is willing to set you free if you want to be. People who truly love one another don't want to hurt them. Coach. Having a clear picture of what needs to be achieved is a crucial quality of good leadership. Openly admit when you’re wrong and ask forgiveness of those you’ve hurt or offended. Anything other than that is not love. Do something good for someone who can’t pay you back. 12. Self-knowledge is a prerequisite because you can’t act in accordance with your values if you don’t know what they are. Honesty is a good trait that is more than telling the truth. You want to bring more good into their lives and do what you can to alleviate their sufferings because in doing so for them, you’re doing the same for yourself. Love doesn't require you to continue a relationship. That higher than "Cloud 9" feeling goes away after a while. Today is National Voter Registration Day! Be your authentic self, and let your words and actions communicate your core values. Or more ambitious. But true love really does love without trying to change the other person. Love means saying goodbye to expectations. You’re wise beyond your years, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. And may your courage and determination influence everything else you do today. When you are honest, people will believe in you, they can help you and you can also take pride in knowing that you are honest with yourself and others. It doesn't look the other way. “Do something every day that scares you” — Eleanor Roosevelt. It forgives and allows other people's actions to be their journey. 16. Once you get started, there’s no longer any point in comparing yourself to others; just work on putting the following characteristics into practice – every day, and one at a time – until they become part of who you are. Wisdom is the ability to know the right thing to do or to say, while prudence is wisdom plus good timing. ©2020 Verizon Media. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean there is true love present. Love vibrates very fast, whereas fear-based emotions (think jealousy, possessiveness, hatred, greed, etc.) If there is jealousy, possessiveness, constant fighting, abuse (verbal, emotional or physical), that is not love. Bad Cook. Optimism 19. Patience 12. Those are fear-based emotions and actions. One of the things we try to teach kids is that there is a clear difference between a want and a need. It knows that the other person is happy and content coming back to you and only you. In fact, being a college student is a very challenging and daunting task. Love doesn't ignore. Love doesn't think others are "out to get them." This vision is often communicated in a mission statement, such as this one … Refer back to #6. The thing about personality is that it is also always changing. I have always been proud of myself, my nature, my faith and everything that I do. But these 16 things are. Improving yourself also does not just have to be about a weakness It can also be about a strength. 4. Show the person you love them. It doesn't hold tightly and crush their wings in attempt to keep them. Self-control 9. Say what you mean. When you realize you’re connected to every living being, you want to do them good, because you share in their joys and in their sufferings. Trust: Mastering the Four Essential Trusts by Iyanla Vanzant, or, The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything by Stephen M.R. 10-Minute Mindfulness: 71 Habits for Living in the Present Moment by S.J. 5. 9. True love has confidence in the quality of the relationship. You love a deep conversation - pondering the meaning of the universe or giving close friends advice on difficult relationships. Whether you place your trust in God/a higher power, in yourself, or in someone else, your trust makes it possible to hope for a satisfying outcome for you and the people you care about. On the opposite end of the continuum of love is fear. True love isn't either of those things. vibrate very slowly. You may even think that means you can't accomplish big goals you've set for yourself. Be trustworthy. All of these things are expectations. Spend less time thinking of yourself (and what people think of you) and more time thinking of how you can contribute to the good of others. Humility manifests as a quiet understanding of your self-worth and competence, as well as a tendency to see past yourself (and your own ego) and to risk greater insult to your pride in order to better serve someone else. Peacefulness 10. I love my smile 2. Faithfulness 11. Just as the saying goes, "If you love something, set it free. I have struggled my entire life with love. So, let’s take a look at 11 admirable qualities and what it takes to develop them in yourself and encourage them in others. Practice conscious acceptance of the present moment, without agitation or negative reaction. Consistently treat others with respect and listen to their concerns with an open mind and a genuine interest in understanding them better. The point is, that certain personality traits can be acquired to encourage self-improvement. Love requires attention. Spend some time each day in quiet mindfulness meditation. Scott and Barrie Davenport, and, The 90-Day Mindfulness Journal: 10 Minutes a Day to Live in the Present Moment by S.J. The Kindness Challenge: Thirty Days to Improve Any Relationship by Shaunti Feldhahn, or. This should not be a one-time thing but a habit you cultivate for your own mental health and personal growth as well as for the good of others. When people truly love another person, they accept their differences. Stop equating humility with self-deprecation (false humility). It simply loves "as is.". We think that if we're not jealous of our loved ones that it means that we don't love them. Love includes letting go. Determination 13. No one ever said that being a college student was going to be easy. Love understands and accepts differences. It's important to discover other people's love language so you can understand each other and give love in a way that the other person recognizes it. 13. Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins, or, Radical Forgiveness: A Revolutionary Five-Step Process to Heal Relationships, Let Go of Anger and Blame, and Find Peace in Any Situation by Colin Tipping. They want them to feel good. This is a an every day occurrence, if you’re a likeable person. 2. After that, it's joy, happiness, contentment and satisfaction. Practice mindfulness to become more aware of these things. Thanks for sharing such basic life related information in simple words. Or when you notice positive qualities in a person, which ones make you think, “I wish I were as ___ as what’s-his-face”? 1. True love doesn't want to possess. Words of Affirmation: Think Self-Love. Commit to one new micro habit that will help you become the person you want to be, work for a month to establish that habit (with daily action), and don’t make excuses if you blow it for a day. They can actually measure them. Fairness 16. When you love yourself, your happiness, health, and fulfillment are all of supreme importance because you realize that without loving yourself, you will never be able to genuinely love … When you meet someone who exemplifies one of these qualities, it might remind you of situations where you exhibited the opposite quality. The vibrations of love make you feel good at all times. Gratitude makes you feel more connected with other living beings and more aware of the good in the present moment, as well as your calling to create more of it. Schedule some time each day to accomplish at least one thing that needs doing, and honor that commitment. They have different experiences and outlooks about the world. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! If it comes back, it's yours. As I write this answer, I have two papers due tomorrow, one on Wednesday, and two final exams. Imperfect Courage: Live a Life of Purpose by Leaving Comfort and Going Scared by Jessica Honegger. Integrity is when your words and actions agree with your beliefs and when others can depend on you to act in accordance with what you say you believe. Patience is a virtue and also a good personality trait. What do you need to find and develop within yourself to be successful? Generosity 2. Love means putting other people's needs equal to -- or before -- your own. When you love yourself, you take care of yourself, you honor your limitations, you listen to your needs and you respect your dreams enough to act on them. According to the findings, men and women who were married were about 20 percent less likely to die of cancer during the three-year study period, regardless of how advanced the disease was (although it's worth noting that the benefits appeared to be stronger for men). The answer comes from looking at those who have created success in a variety of fields. Then appreciation. But true love has no expectations. Here is a list of positive adjectives that can help you describe personality traits: Lover of Life. Loyalty 4. 11. Love makes you feel good, not bad. If you can easily sense how others feel, you’ll likely have a hard time handling the emotional “noise” from a crowd, or even a smaller group of … Every moment where you act in alignment with these qualities is a triumph. Kindness is love in action, and love is connection. "When you hurt, I hurt." At the same time, if one needs to rid oneself of a certain trait, they can do that as well. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Commit to seeing the good in others, and look for ways to encourage them. Or more outgoing. Equanimity makes temperance and patience possible. Start today, right where you are, to build on one of them. You shake everyone’s hand, get pats on the back, and you being there leaves the entire place feeling more uplifted. 7 Awesome Ways Relationships Can Boost Your Health, Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. If you want, you can provide an answer similar to how you would answer a question about your greatest weakness. He doesn’t let procrastination or a craving for comfort get in the way. Loving 6. 1. Honestly I’m writing this answer when I’m not in a good mood, agitated and irritated all at once. What makes us "feel loved" varies. As we delve into the 14 leadership traits of great leaders, you will learn the behaviors and attitudes of effective leadership. People are never exactly who they were, say, three or five years ago. Spend time each day quietly contemplating things — your life, your daily habits, your goals, your purpose, your. Science has proven that emotions like love and fear have very different vibrations. Honesty. Learn how your comment data is processed. Love is an action, not just a feeling. Learn to own who you are and what you’re good at. 6. Devotion 5. Brown. So here are the characteristics of REAL love: 1. You might think this habit will make you likeable, but it often backfires and can ruin your happiness. Love works together. If we all loved one another as ourselves, the world would be a better place! Our thoughts … Don’t assign your own meanings to other people’s actions and words. Love has no room for jealousy. Or smarter. The following is a list of traits that will enable you to be position yourself onto a path of collegiate … The "why" isn't clear, and the study does not establish cause and effect, but researchers hypothesize that having someone who cares for you and who helps you understand your diagnosis might be behind the connection. You can choose a quality that is familiar to you and that you’d like to strengthen in yourself or one that you admire but have yet to adopt and commit to practicing. So, when we're in love, we want to feel that way forever. Relationships Can Help Boost Cancer Survival ... A just-published study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology suggests that marriage may help improve cancer survival rates. Before you know it, you’ll have reason to be proud of the progress you’ve made and the person you’ve become. Those who exhibit courage do what needs to be done — or what they believe needs to be done — in spite of fear. What admirable personal qualities do you think of when your favorite people in the world come to mind? But guess what? If you are not getting the results you want in life, the first place to look is at how you are interacting with the world. Don’t worry about that. Empathy is the ability to put yourself into another person's shoes and see a situation from his/her point of view. When you realize you’re connected to every living being, you want to do them good, because you share in their joys and in their sufferings. If you don't put other people's needs at least equal to your own, they will grow resentful. You fear that you can't live without them, so you need them. It opposes a fatalistic view of life, where the universe is against you, and you’ll most likely end up destitute and alone. Cooperation 17. We want them to be more affectionate. Integrity 3. To love unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most humans aren't good at that. Practice letting go of the things you can’t control or change. I hate that I get frustrated and discouraged easily. With true serenity, you feel an undisturbed peace of soul. It feels good, and doesn't see giving attention to another person as a chore. Well, at least that's the how the saying goes. “Self-love requires you to be honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.” ~Caroline Kirk If one more person told me to “love myself” I was going to levitate into the air and pull one of those impossible martial arts moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon . No Excuses! "Charisma enchants people and charms them," Assimos says, which is why it's a trait you can amp up when meeting someone new. Sure, we all want people to behave the way we want them to. Adventurous 15. Not only is this just a good trait to have in general, it will help you to become more successful too! It is important to exhibit certain traits in order to maximize your years in college. Now that you’ve gotten to this point, don’t waste any time berating yourself for not having practiced some or all of these qualities to the degree you wish you had. Wisdom and intuition are close relatives. Expectations are just your requirements for "acceptability" of loving someone. Persistence 14. The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life by Shawn Achor, The 90-Day Gratitude Journal by S.J. You can put all emotions on a continuum. — and asked them what is the one physical and non-physical trait in a man that they found most attractive. Love doesn't mean that you have to stay, and stay and stay. There is a simple, three step process to integrate a new positive trait … Be your authentic self, risking the possibility that some won’t like you. While people may be inherently selfish for survival purposes, this does not serve us well in relationships. Author. 3. You have a firm grasp of the way the mind works, and a knack for helping other people understand, too. people who walk the walk). Real love truly, genuinely cares about other people's happiness and will go to great lengths to make people feel valued. Take time out to think of what brings you joy. 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